i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
