When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
