Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
