The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
whose parrot is this?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
