did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
so that wasnt chicken after all
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
