I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
