I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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