I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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