I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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