One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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