North Korea, Best Korea!
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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