Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
