I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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