How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
