i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
