It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
