ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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