There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
