Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize