im about as happy as oj after his trial
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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