Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
