i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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