I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
