Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Even my vagina gasped.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
