I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
