My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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