Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
