bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
