I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
We left the knife in your bed.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just had sex on a roof
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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