So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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