I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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