; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
