that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
