I could make wine with my vomit
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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