The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
