I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
