I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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