Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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