why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
