please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
