We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
