Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
