An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
