i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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