You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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