yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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