Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize