i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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