I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Please don't give away my fajitas
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