Well douche your snatch and let's go!
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
The feeling are messing with the penis
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
