Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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