Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
