There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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