I saw his package. It spoke to me.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
