I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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