the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
