hell yes lets make some ravioli
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
