U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
