LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
