How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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