Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
