All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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