Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
i think my cat just said my name.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
