So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
