Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
